One of the hardest parts of this whole experience has been the feelings of vagueness that we experience on sometimes a daily basis. We sometimes feel that things are out of our control. It has been strange to look into the next couple of months and know that we will still be going through chemo, still dealing with body aches, still riding an emotional roller coaster, and asking the questions of 'why did this come to us' and 'what are we supposed to learn/gain from these experiences'.
Another thing we have noticed is it's also difficult for those on the edges or the periphery of this experience; all our friends and family who desperately want to do something to help but just don't know what, if anything, they can do. We know there are some of you who would take this from us in a heartbeat if it could be done, we are so thankful to those who have sacrificed so much of your time to step in and watch kids and to be with Anna. We would like to offer some ideas for things that can be done for those of you who are far away at this time.
Here it goes. We would like to hear uplifting thoughts or experiences that have helped you during difficult times. Those things that you fall back on during hard times that help you to re-center and keep things in perspective. As these stories or thoughts might be of a personal nature we would offer our personal e-mails (keyextra@yahoo, annafarmer.30@gmail) as a way for you to share those stories or thoughts with us. We would love if you would be willing to post them on the blog but realize some hesitancy of sharing those thoughts with the public.
Currently the thought that is helping Ben is the Proverb 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths."
The things that have really helped Anna are the notes, phone calls and service/time from family and friends. She knows she can not do this alone and is very humbled with the kindness offered to her. Anna is so grateful for the power of the Priesthood and the opportunity to have blessings; they are a huge comfort to her during this time. Her faith in her Savior has grown so much as she studies the scriptures on a regular basis in order to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost in her life. What a great comfort the gospel brings into our lives.
Thank you for doing this blog and sharing your journey with everyone else.
ReplyDeleteI would like to share one of my favorite passages with you. I had read it many times, but one day it really touched me and has been one of my anchors ever since. It was during the time that we were struggling through the disappointments and heartache of infertility, the tests, the drugs, the hopes, and the emotional roller coasters. I often cried myself to sleep and pleaded with our Father in Heaven for the desire of our hearts. I will admit that my faith seemed weak at times. At one such time, this scripture hit me with such force that I could not deny that Heavenly Father was speaking to me through it. It is found in Mosiah 3:19 (Book of Mormon) and says:
ReplyDelete"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, for ever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."
I realized that I need to be more patient, more submissive, more humble, and more willing to submit myself to the Lord's will. Maybe it wasn't a matter of me having enough faith to get pregnant, maybe it was a matter of having enough faith to endure not being pregnant.
Lots of love to you and your family,
Beckie
I have never been through something like you are experiencing but as I was reading the part about how thoughts and stories help something I learned from my mom came into my mind. When I was younger I remember planning trips, small ones to Bear Lake or Salt Lake City. When the day of the trip came it never failed that it would be rainy or some other mishap would happen and we couldn't go. So to counter act our bad luck my mom said we wouldn't plan. If we woke up one summer morn and it was blue skies and things looked good we were instructed to hurry and pack and we would head to the lake for the day or whatever else my mom had in mind to do! It always turned out better and we had more fun than if we had been planning for a month (which I guess we really had, we just never set the date just waited for the perfect opportunity!) I remember my cousin posting how he would have only a few days, if that between treatments where he felt good enough to do things. I guess what I'm trying to say and what you probably already know is make every good day count even if nothing is planned just pack and go and get your minds off the trial and see some smiles. Even if it's just a trip to the pool with the kids or a date to Lowes or Home depot.
ReplyDeleteYou're in our prayers!
Jessica